About eighteen years ago, I was on my high school's cross country and track teams. It felt so good to run those five minute miles, and it took no effort. To be honest, I took it for granted, just like I leaped across those hurdles with no physical limitations whatsoever. A first knee surgery was needed, due to not listening to my body. As a young buck, you feel that soreness in your legs, and just keep on running. You just want to be the best, and it is nothing but pure arrogance, and not enough life lessons learned, to continue on that road of no return. Upon a quicker than it should have been rehab, I returned to the teams, and my right knee started to have issues, including buckling and causing me to fall upon my face.
It took awhile to admit "I have a problem." In fact, until my tendon was lowered and cut in half, and I walked around on crutches for a good period of time, and with a reminding limp, even then I thought, "I can do this." That was not the case, and while I was eventually able to return to walking long distances, and going for some jogs, it wasn't until recently that I've been able to return to "Act II" I am not going to break any records, nor be anywhere near the front of the pack. Yet that is okay, as whether going out for a quick 5k or a half marathon, it is not the speed nor the distance that matter. There are good runs and bad ones, but I'd rather have a terrible run, than a good day of work. Its strange putting that quote, to use instead of fishing.
Jan 23rd 2012 was the beginning of Act II, as I walked into a Pacers Running Store, with a purchase of Nike Free's. Due to a warm winter I started with 1 mile jogs, and was getting frustrated, by slow times. Yet, I noticed no pain, and only on a couple of occasions has there been swelling. Its amazing what a few years of age do for you, as when there's some discomfort, I simply stop and take a couple of days off. That used to never be the case, and the person who said "older runners are better," was succinctly correct in their assessment. With a change of nutrition, I have lost close to forty pounds, and now am on a new phase with running being added with putting on muscle lost. The diet part was the hardest, as giving up fried foods, soda, and ice cream have made me want to "firmly plant my running shoes in someone's mouth." Yes, there is still some bitterness.
Yet I have noticed a change, as one of my old professor's was right, when he said it was important to focus on "mind, body, and spirit." I am not as quick to get mad, although of course that happens from to time. There's still some needed aggression at the ready when it matters, although I do apologize to that hurdle at Fairfax High School's Track that I ran into. Some things do change, and that hurdle is going to be on the disabled list for quite some time. My bad. The past few years have been painful, yet there is hope, whether crossing that corner of the track or that hill that seemed so daunting a few weeks prior. The physical and mental improvements have been appreciated, but the spiritual ones have been the most revealing.
I firmly believe that each of us, has this etched into our souls. It does not require running, but rather partaking in an activity that is a passion. Each person has one, or two, or more. It could be walking, swimming, or whatever put a smile on your face. Even with the tears and great sadness of the past few years, I feel closer to God when out on those runs. Whether the Ipod is playing music or I run without it, I sometimes just look up at the sky, and am very thankful for this second chance. It has provided much needed peace. True I'm not going to win a race against those beanpole 18 year olds, who are competing for the Olympics and Scholarships. Yet I am going to go out on every run, whether its a practice or an organized event, and give every ounce of my heart with each time my feet hit the pavement.
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