A Note to Those Who've Recently Experienced the Death of a Child

Right now, there are a lot of people who have recently lost a child. It doesn't matter what their medical condition was, or the nature of their death, what matters is at least grieving well. It is easier said than done, but as long as you're not hurting yourself or others, do what works best for you. Each of us are wired differently, its what makes each human being unique. In the initial stages, at least what I dealt with, it was mostly crying, anger, and it was if the world turned upside down in a cruel, sadistic way. How can you carry on, when you have to bury your own flesh and blood? How do you even explain it, or fully comprehend it, when you are bombarded with a flurry of emotions and thoughts, sleepless nights, and questions upon questions? It takes a lot of time, and don't worry, there aren't any restrictions for the time part. Each of us recovers and accepts tragedy, on a timeline that works for us, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Expect to lose some friends. Its not personal on their part or yours, its just some don't know how to handle a tragedy. Expect to be pissed at people, who normally seem compassionate enough, say things like "aren't you over it, or aren't you ready to just go on as normal?" It sounds callous, but they don't mean it, or if they do knock them out Mike Tyson style. Just kidding mostly on that, but it is shocking what some normal/rational people will say when they learn of what tragedy you face. Mostly its because they just don't grasp the pan, and even though these people may deserve a kick  in the rear end, they truly don't comprehend the absolute iceberg to the Titanic deck every part of you is going through. I'm glad that they and most will never understand, as no parent should have to bury one of their own.

The trail of grief, or how a gentleman named Darrien calls a "journey," is appropriate for such a traumatic event. You will never get over it. Ever. You will only get through it. There will be tears of a river, questions that keep you up for hours, and don't be surprised to be in a thick fog that never ceases to quash the pain. Yet eventually the sun does come out again. It may have a few more clouds than it used to, but life is still worthwhile, and with acceptance you can't find a sense of appreciation again. Thinking of all who are going down this road best not traveled, and hoping even with the tears and the agony, that those clouds will gradually dissipate for you in a new chapter of the adventure.