After my son passed away, I often wondered why some people kept their distance. Most of the time I really didn't care, but I can tell you, that I have discovered who my true friends are. Plus I've made so many along the way, that any losses are completely wiped away clean, along with a renewed sense of purpose and faith. I was blind for the first 34 years of my life, but now my vision while far from perfect, has improved considerably. You are going to grieve in different ways, and as long as you are not a threat to yourselves or others, don't give a damn what you have to do. It is a parents worst nightmare, and while perhaps some of my anger wasn't healthy, it was part of the process. While the Scottish temper can still arise, its much less likely to now, and quite often I literally turn the other cheek. Its not a sign of weakness, but rather gaining an appreciation for life like never before, along with realizing that each and everyone of us can be difficult at times.
Such battles of the past no longer happen. Its good being "the dude", and for the most part just chilling. This doesn't mean that I won't knock you down in a boxing ring or other athletic event, but its a change of perspective, that wouldn't have happened. Losing a child isn't something you should want or obviously have happen to you, but I can promise you, that if you move forward, not over but through, you will see with new lenses. Much of what you previously thought of as hard, becomes a laughable matter, and what's the worst somebody can do to you, take away your birthday? Its better to be forgiving, and just laugh, along with smiling more. Taking the laid back approach, and only ratcheting up when necessary isn't just healthy for you, but also this positive spirit can spread and touch others.
Recently a lady whom I've known for years, revealed to me that she lost her child many years ago. I've always found her to be one of the most compassionate, and warm individuals that I've had the grace of getting to know. All of her employees love her, as she is a supervisor of a very important operation each and everyday. Their work isn't easy, but one of her folks said it best. That was "I can't keep up with her, and her positive enthusiasm does make it bearable." I don't know what she was like prior to her child's passing, but I have a feeling, that she's changed due to this as well. There are millions of us. No, not across the world, although that is the case, but even in the United States, or any other nation for that matter. We are all brothers and sisters, and in addition to supporting each other, let's keep the positive vibe moving in a forward trajectory.
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