A few days ago, I ran some of the best times I ever have, and also without my bright red Nike's that have seemed to have brought good luck. I felt good, at the top of my game, and the competitive juices flowed through my veins like a high I hadn't ever experienced. The past week was stressful at work, with quite a few battles to contend with, and I just felt as if "You just kicked life's ass in every regard." A quick visit to my allergy doctor's office changed that, as I had my usual shot, and went into whatever the hell you call it reaction. I started coughing, had difficulty breathing, and am glad that the nurse and doctor gave me a shot of the adrenaline. Honestly I don't know how to spell the pharmaceutical word, but it was one of the biggest rushes I have ever received. Wow. That stuff is powerful, and left me shaking, but damn if I didn't love that feeling.
Sleep has been elusive the past couple of nights. I do not know if this is lingering effects from the shot, or pure anger that I felt over being ordered not to run or engage in outdoor activities. I have full confidence in the doctor and staff, but felt sorry for myself. How could I be the 1/2 of 1% that has an adverse reaction? What did he mean, by running and outdoor activities may have to be changed? I was furious, in fact, I about exploded. I am a fatalist, and believe when its your time it is your time, along with being even more angry about having gone a year of these shots twice a week, and having dropped so much weight and gained so much, to just see it wiped away really got under my skin. Being competitive is fine, but today as I wake up to the sad news from the shooting committed by nothing by the heart of evil, I realize the stupidity of it all.
I will run again. Whether or not the doctor says yay or nay. Yet these people in Colorado will not. Their families and friends are in agony, and people around the world have it a lot worse than I do. It was so stupid to be upset over a few days ordered home off work, and away from running. Even if I'm not allowed to, or have to have epipens with me from now on, or make other restrictions, what's the big deal? Life isn't fair, and my minor flare up, is nothing compared to the great sadness that so many are going through. While I watch even more what I eat this weekend without the physical activity, people are going to a morgue to identify their son or daughter, from that terrible evil. There are set backs and frustrations in life, that's just the bottom line.
Our hearts should be with those families today, and tomorrow. Always for that matter. I sit here shocked and saddened, by what should have been a happy event turning into such a bastion of hatred and evil. There is evil in this world, but good must triumph. There are frustrations in life, but they must be overcome. Last night I watched "Inglorious Basterds" and enjoyed it immensely. I've also spent the past few days spending time with my near three year old, teaching him geography and watching him turn my breakfast into an all you can eat buffet. Time marches on, and it is my solemn duty to teach him about his older brother, what really matters, and carry on. Its what we must all do, soldier on.
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