Much Love to Three Families: A Heavy Heart is the Best Way to Describe It

Years ago my grandmother died, and I still remember to this day, how she looked in her coffin. She was a warm, lovely lady in every regard, and even though I was a young boy, I still miss her to this day. Each and everyone of us, has only a certain amount of time on this planet, before our hourglass winds down, and there's simply no sand left. Today, that's the case for three grieving families,  who are enduring the most challenging of all pains that a human being can. Three young ladies with Rett Syndrome passed away yesterday. While I've only had the chance to meet two women with this condition, along with their awesome mothers, the words of my uncle at my grandmother's funeral rings true this morning. That is "with a heavy heart." 

Those families are going through such agony, pain, and will have to go through a process that's gut wrenching. Our hearts should be with them, and if you can say a prayer, it is without a doubt something that can be felt. Three was a lucky number in Biblical terms, but this version certainly is not, as there are grieving families, friends, and a vast network of folks who have been a part of these ladies lives. Now there are more questions than answers, along with that heavy heart, and the soul crushing pain that will have to be directly experienced. Life's permanence is shockingly brought to such a conclusion, but at the same time, those will have to carry forward under totally new circumstances. Its not something one would wish on anyone, even a worst enemy if they had one. In Mitch Albom's "Have a Little Faith," he delivered the eulogy for his Rabbi. During one of their interviews preceding his death, the Rabbi discussed his children's death," and how he was angry at God." Mitch asked him, "then why are you a Rabbi?" To this he responded, "because my anger at God proved His existence."

There are going to be a swirl of emotions for the families, those who know them, along with parents of children with Rett Syndrome. Anger is one of them already, but in the coming days and there's no time limits on that, my hope is that there will be some sort of peace. Ultimately these families feel pain, and our hearts should be there for their broken ones. Love them, support them, and by all means pray for them out of an abundance of compassion. You just never know, as each and everyday is valuable, and these three families need to see the support of so many around them. They will never get over this, but through the grace of God, let's help them get through.

Mom and Dads Who've Lost a Little One or Adult: You Aren't Alone

After my son passed away, I often wondered why some people kept their distance. Most of the time I really didn't care, but I can tell you, that I have discovered who my true friends are. Plus I've made so many along the way, that any losses are completely wiped away clean, along with a renewed sense of purpose and faith. I was blind for the first 34 years of my life, but now my vision while far from perfect, has improved considerably. You are going to grieve in different ways, and as long as you are not a threat to yourselves or others, don't give a damn what you have to do. It is a parents worst nightmare, and while perhaps some of my anger wasn't healthy, it was part of the process. While the Scottish temper can still arise, its much less likely to now, and quite often I literally turn the other cheek. Its not a sign of weakness, but rather gaining an appreciation for life like never before, along with realizing that each and everyone of us can be difficult at times.

Such battles of the past no longer happen. Its good being "the dude", and for the most part just chilling. This doesn't mean that I won't knock you down in a boxing ring or other athletic event, but its a change of perspective, that wouldn't have happened. Losing a child isn't something you should want or obviously have happen to you, but I can promise you, that if you move forward, not over but through, you will see with new lenses. Much of what you previously thought of as hard, becomes a laughable matter, and what's the worst somebody can do to you, take away your birthday? Its better to be forgiving, and just laugh, along with smiling more. Taking the laid back approach, and only ratcheting up when necessary isn't just healthy for you, but also this positive spirit can spread and touch others.

Recently a lady whom I've known for years, revealed to me that she lost her child many years ago. I've always found her to be one of the most compassionate, and warm individuals that I've had the grace of getting to know. All of her employees love her, as she is a supervisor of a very important operation each and everyday. Their work isn't easy, but one of her folks said it best. That was "I can't keep up with her, and her positive enthusiasm does make it bearable." I don't know what she was like prior to her child's passing, but I have a feeling, that she's changed due to this as well. There are millions of us. No, not across the world, although that is the case, but even in the United States, or any other nation for that matter. We are all brothers and sisters, and in addition to supporting each other, let's keep the positive vibe moving in a forward trajectory.