It Does Not Matter What Your IQ Score Is, What Matters is the Size of Your Heart

Recently a kind lady experienced the pain, that no parent should ever go through. That's right, a parent's worst nightmare, losing their child. Having been down this dark alley, I know what she talks about, with regards to people not looking you in the eye, or trying to avoid you altogether. What are the reasons for this? I don't know honestly, and I don't think its because people are lacking in empathy, but simply its beyond the comprehension of most. Death is an uncomfortable subject, and when it involves someone's son or daughter, then it becomes an even trickier avenue to navigate. Many of the people who do avoid, or stay far away, are of high intelligence. They are not bad people at all, and each parent that has lost a child, is going to react differently of course, as all people are unique, and shaped by experiences. Yet, there are moments of beauty even amid tragedy, and a young man with a low IQ due to a traumatic brain injury, got what so many others have not. That is love in its simplest form, and this is more important, than any value that all of us can express.

This woman is in the throes of grief, which often lead to a variety of emotions, whether they are anger, sadness, guilt, and with time I pray acceptance. There's no time frame for this, but Dr. Elizabeth Kubler Ross was correct with the "five stages." If you aren't familiar with her readings, by all means, open either "Death and Dying," or "Love and Light Tunnels." A simple gesture touched this broken heart, and we should all be grateful that this young man, came up to her and stated "I'm sorry to hear about your daughter's passing." Those words mean a lot to a devastated parent, and also transcend to others who have suffered such a loss. His heart spoke these words, and the love that he showed with this, is what all of us should be doing when tragedy strikes.

If you know a parent who's lost a child, by all means comfort them. It doesn't mean you have to move mountains.  A simple hug, a message of condolence, or a warm meal can help provide sustenance, in these times that are so challenging.  By all means the loss of a child, doesn't make a parent contagious, it just leaves them in a different state than they were prior. My prayers and I hope others will be too, that this warm lady is able to get through, although obviously never over the pain. Its almost four years since Tommy's passing, and I'll admit that I still have bouts of tears, or moments of anger, along with requiring solitude at points to get my mind in the right place. Yet I like it when people ask about Tommy, and I hope that others will help this kindred spirit in similar regards. Our children are still with us, as while they may be in Heaven, they are in our hearts until its our time to go.

I know death is something that most, want to pretend doesn't exist, but it can strike at any time. It can happen to someone in the best of health or worst, without any rhyme or reason. We are all going to depart this earth one day, and its up to the good Lord to decide, whether we like it or not. Big hugs to this young man, who stepped up and delivered a grand slam of love, in the midst of such pain. He not only showed us the right path, but provided comfort, to a mother who is facing a new reality. Right now I am sure her world is upside down, but for a few moments, that axis was in the correct position. Thanks to this good man, who has faced a difficult road of his own, because while he may not be as smart as some, he showed a level of love and sophistication that no IQ points can ever touch.