Monday, February 11, 2013

Places of Peace for Grief





As the father of a child lost, I am surrounded by many good people, of which I am very grateful for. Many of these are people who have been down the same path, and have had to contend with the pain, that never truly does go away. Its always there, just that little cloud that never seems to dissipate, yet at the same time there are places of peace. I was saddened in the past few weeks, to hear of the passing of a six year old girl with Angelman Syndrome. While all children's deaths leave me sad, knowing that another with this condition, hits closer to home for whatever reason. I'm not sure if this is right or wrong, normal or not, it is simply just the way it is.

It will be soon time to take a walk by the ocean. This is a place of refuge, one of very few that provide me with feelings of peace. Years ago, long before I joined a large group of people who've lost a child, I fell asleep fishing in a chair by the ocean. It was a bit of a surprise, to wake up about fifty yards from the beach, and my friends who witnessed it were howling with laughter. I did too, later of course, but there is something about that rhythmic cascading of waves. The sound is music to the soul, and in a few months, I look forward to walking by the ocean on the Yucatan Peninsula. This is of course, the home of the Mayans and other great civilizations, and it is my hope to find comfort in not only the waves crashing, but also of the permanence of their foundations that stand strong thousands of years later.

Whether you find the ocean to be your place of comfort, whether you've lost a child or not, its up to you. As all of us are unique beings, we find spots that are replenishing to our souls. Every single one of us faces challenges, or crosses that we must bear in this life, that sometimes cause us more anguish than one thinks is possible. Yet getting to these places, such as the ocean, or that trail in the woods where the only noise is the birds, is important to each and every human being. Looking out at the ocean, I'm often struck by its size, and its not only a reminder of how small and insignificant I am, but also of the greatness of our creator. We are all blessed, even if there is pain along the walk, because those footsteps in the sand are proof that we do carry on regardless.

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