Grandparents, Uncles, Aunts, Siblings: The Death of a Child Affects so Many

A cherished child being placed six feet deep, is not in any dream of a grandparent. Nor is it in the thought process of a brother, sister, aunt, or uncle. Families are impacted by the death of a child so harshly, and its not only the parents who suffer. I know that whatever I die from, when its my time as each day is one closer to the grave, I hope that coroner or medical examiner, will have the decency to write "broken heart." Not only have I wept for my own son, but for my wife, the grandparents on both sides, my brother, my wife's brothers, and even for my youngest son who's too young still to understand the significance of Tommy's passing.

I will tell him the truth of course. That the last time I saw Tommy alive was before he went to bed. About my poor brother finding Tommy unresponsive. About having to pick up the phone to call 911, and to start CPR on my own flesh and blood. I have cried when my little near three year old, has asked me what that purple hand print of Tommy's is on the wall. Yet I told him exactly who's hand print that is, and I will if so lucky, be around for another 63 years or so, to tell him everything I can about his brother. Its not an easy task to be the parent of a child who's gone to God young, but I must carry on.

Grandparents are a key cog in a family, as are aunts and uncles. I was blessed to have grown up with fantastic parents, and I am so glad that they are still very much a part of my life. Each day I am thankful for their love and support, and I am proud of my brother, who is the world's most awesome uncle. I love my wife dearly, and do not know how she has done what she has done, but I admire her strength. Losing Tommy has taught us a lot of lessons. Most of them have been so painful, such shots across our bow, that even the penetration of a hot bullet would pale in comparison. Yet they are lessons no doubt, and we much learn from them.

This past week two more children passed away from seizures, leaving two families full of love, to pick up the pieces. I feel for them, because while I cannot say that our reactions and how we handle such anguish will be the same, I know of that soul numbing pain that just leaves you in shock, and turns your world upside down. It is my sincerest of prayers that they as families, all generations, are able to band together and love one another so very much, because each and every person is going to need just that. There are going to be whole hosts of emotion, bitterness, sadness, and ones that cannot even be described. I do not admire what you are going through right now. There are more who are going through such tribulations and trials today. You aren't alone, but it does not necessarily soften the blow. Yet persevere you must. Together, as a family, because when it boils down to it, no matter what our last name or background is, that is exactly who we are.