Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Hug Your Kids, Tell Them You Love Them
Tonight, my two year old boy is acting up. That's right, he might be on Ebay with an opening bid of "We'll pay you to take him if here in twenty minutes." We've all been in this situation as parents, where there are times that we wish, "couldn't John or Susie just go the heck away for awhile? Can't they just behave? I never did that!" Your baloney-o-meter arrow just went all the way to the right on that, as we have all driven our parents or loved ones "crazy" at one point or another during our lives. I am thankful for my parents, whom were not my best friends growing up, but parents, for teaching me the values of honesty and loving an even difficult person.
Right now, that would include my two year old son, who's a real handful. Yet I am thankful for him, and will be even more thankful when he's a bit more "laid back" and not so "full of vinegar." I make no bones about it, that I am much more sentimental than I used to be. Every day I would just wake up, go through the motions of a day, and then just like everyone else, go to bed to start the process all over again. Now, often its full of walks in the woods, quiet periods of reflection by a nearby lake, or even just long country drives to the middle of nowhere. Sometimes a quiet prayer is said. Other times its a bit more loud. Rarely does it not happen, but sometimes that is the case.
My chronological age might be thirty five, but I feel as if I've have lived a million lifetimes. It has not made me any wiser, but I do believe that going through the loss of a child, has caused me to be much more reflective about life. I meant what I said the night of Tommy's memorial service, "Hug your children," and continue to do so, for the very reason that we have no control over our child or our lives glass of sand emptying. Yet we can hug our children, even if we are tempted to sell them on ebay. Its a way of letting them know that you love them, that you are there for them, and will do the best that you can to provide for them. Yes, they may not have a huge house, or a trip on a luxury liner everyday, or that damn Lego set that costs a car note, but they will have your love.
You cannot put a price on that. Studies have proven that children of stable environments, regardless of whether there is one parent or two, do much better academically and socially if they feel loved. What does that mean, "feel loved?" Its simple. They know that a parent or responsible adult cares for their well being, would do everything within their reasonable power to help them, and shall guide them on the correct path of life. Its as simple as that. All of the late night walks, prayers in a car on top of a valley, that's what I've come up with. Could it be wrong? Certainly. Yet I believe, just as I did that night of Tommy's service, when family and friends came together, to celebrate his life, that hugging your children is the most important act a parent or loved one can do. It speaks volumes, more than words can ever convey. Don't go to bed angry at each other, and by all means give your boy or girl a hug tonight. Do it for them and do it for yourself, because no one knows but God what tomorrow will bring. Tonight my two year old boy will get a hug, because I love him, no matter what.
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